Learning You
by Take Me To My Fragile Dreams
Summary: Gone for over a month Alec sets out on a demon hunt. Meanwhile, Magnus is left to his own devices. Thinking to occupy his time with finally looking through the Book of White he comes across a certain spell, unknowingly casting it before falling asleep. Now stuck in the past every time he falls asleep, what will Magnus find of his beloved Shadowhunter's past?
1. Someone's Always Saying Goodbye

**.**

**_Learning You_**

1_~Someone's Always Saying Goodbye~_1

**.**

* * *

"Magnus, I have to leave." Alec panted harshly, pulling back from his boyfriend's lips to gaze down into half lidded golden/green eyes.

Magnus smirked, eyes dancing with amusement. "I know love. I'm just making sure that,"-He tipped his head upwards, skimming his teeth along the Shadowhunter's neck and swiping his tongue out afterwards, making the skin red.-"You have something to remember me by."

"Mags! Nnn... You have to - have to let go. I'm - I'm going to be late!"

The Warlock pulled back reluctantly, unwrapping his arms from around the now blushing beauty that stood between his legs, releasing him from his embrace. He eyed Alec's ensemble distastefully as the Shadowhunter backed up, fixing his disheveled black shirt and the weapons belt on his waist. "How long are you going to be gone again?" Magnus asked, hoping that what he'd heard previously had just been a trick.

Alec sighed as he faced the Warlock once again, frowning as he spoke slowly as if he too hoped he was wrong. "A... month, possibly longer." He grimaced. "We're tracking a herd of trijak demons who've been praying on humans at night in hopes of finding their nest and destroying it."

Magnus frowned, his brow furrowing. He didn't like the fact that he wouldn't be able to be there if Alec got hurt and he _certainly _didn't like the fact that he would have to sit at home whilst the boy risked his life.

Almost as if reading his expression, his lover stepped forward towards the pink couch Magnus sat upon, blue eyes gentle as he smiled softly at the Warlock, his hand cupping his cheek. "Hey, it'll be fine. Jace and Izzy will be there and between the three of us we'll be okay. I'll be back before you know it."

Magnus sighed, tilting his cheek into the Shadowhunter's warm palm. "Yeah." He agreed halfheartedly, turning his head to place a chaste kiss on the boy's wrist his tongue darting out to taste the pale skin afterwards.

Alec suck in a sharp breath at the motion, hand flexing against the Warlock's cheek. His eyes burned into the mischievous cat eyes of his lover as Magnus gave him a teasing smirk, eyebrow raising as if to say, "What are you gonna do about it?" And Alec growled, taking a step closer as his hand slid from the Warlock's cheek to the back of his neck where he proceeded to pull on the silky strands, tilting Magnus' head up as he slammed his lips down in a heated kiss. The Warlock moaned at the sensation, reaching out to wrap his arms around the boy once more, yanking him forward so that his hips were level with Magnus' chest. He leaned back against the couch, resting his head against the top as his lover moved his hands from his hair to rest his arms onto the top of the pink couch, leaning further into the Warlock.

Alec shuddered as Magnus dragged his hands up his stomach, pulling back to rest his forehead on the other's as he breathed harshly, his breath washing over his boyfriend's face as he took in the lust filled golden-green eyes. He smiled ruefully, moving his hand from the couch to stroke back the stray strands of hair off of his Warlock's face, placing one last gentle kiss on Magnus' lips before pulling away fully, eyeing his disheveled appearance one last time. _'Remember this.' _A voice whispered in his head. _'Remember this because it may be the last time you ever see him.' _Alec tried not to dwell on that thought. He backed up, never taking his eyes off of the Warlock's slitted ones as he gently searched from the doorknob, twisting it once his hand enclosed around it.

"I love you." He murmured, gazing at Magnus earnestly.

"And I love you, little Shadowhunter." His lover returned, eyes shinning with faint sadness.

Alec smiled faintly before opening the door, walking through it with one last glance at the Warlock who he may never see again.

The door closed with a thud that seemed to echo in Magnus' heart.

* * *

**Okay so I've had this sitting in my documents for quite some time now and finally got around to posting it, with that said…**

**This fic will be… Rather angst-y at times (you'll soon see why) but I can promise that there shall be fluff! *points finger* I swear it!**

**As for updates… I basically have up to chapter… Five? I think, planned out so I'm thinking… Updates every Friday? Is that good? *looks around* **

**So!**

**Leave a review and tell me of your thoughts!**

**Oh! IMPORTANT! Do you guys want this to stay T or do you want lemons? O.o**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	2. I Can Try and Suck It Up

**.**

**_Learning You_**

3_~Though I Haven't Seen You~_3

**.**

* * *

Magnus stared up at the imposing building, pulling the collar of his black Armani jacket closer to his neck when a soft gust of wind pushed past him. There was a reason he hated and normally avoided Shadowhunters and their houses. Not only was it both uncomfortable to be near/on hollow ground but he could also feel the protective wards pressing against him, hissing their distress and hatred like they were actual beings. When he was with Alec or his siblings it was easy to ignore the pressure pushing down on him and the feeling of wrongness in the air, but now, all alone, he had nothing to help distract him from it.

Well, a snide voice whispered, you've arrived at the Institute. How do you propose you get in? Magnus frowned at the thought. It was a good question. How was he going to get in? Without a Nephilim around it was next to impossible to open the doors. He walked forward, heels clicking against the stones as he climbed the stairs to stop before the two heavy doors, eyebrows down turned in thought.

_"You know." Magnus huffed at the top of the steps. "It's really quite annoying when I have to wait outside because a Nephilim has to open the doors."_

_Alec grimaced, climbing the stairs to wrap his arms around the slightly shivering Warlock. "I know but I can't help it. Izzy kidnapped me for one of her shopping trips and I didn't have time to text you. I'm sorry."_

_Magnus sighed, burying his face in the Shadowhunter's neck. "I suppose it's alright. I understand how Izzy can be. But!" Magnus grinned, pulling back to gaze down at Alec. "You have to make it up to me in a much more pleasant environment."_

_Alec smiled, leaning up to brush a kiss against the Warlock's lips. "That can be arranged." He pulled back, disentangling his arms from around Magnus' waist to grasp the silver handle in his hand, opening it effortlessly._

_"How does it work anyway?" Magnus asked once they were safely inside the building._

_Alec glanced at him quizzically. "What?"_

_"The door. I mean," Magnus continued, waving a hand. "I know the basics but do you have to do anything besides have angel blood?"_

_"Well," Alec tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "I'm not really sure. I just know that when I touch it and think along the lines of, 'I am Alexander Lightwood, member of the Shadowhunters and angel-blood decedent' it opens."_

_"Hm." Magnus murmured, eyeing the door thoughtfully._

_"Now." Alec said, moving towards the Warlock. "No one's home and I did say I would make it up to you didn't I?"_

_Magnus smirked playfully, eyes glinting as he glanced down at the decidedly closer Shadowhunter. "Oh?" He whispered huskily._

_"Uh-huh." Alec closed the distance between them, erasing any thoughts that may have been in his mind._

Magnus shook his head at the slight wave of pain and loneliness that the memory brought, focusing on the door as a distraction.

Just think your name and that you are a part of the Shadowhunters? Magnus gazed at the door before glancing down at the alliance rune that shone on the skin of his hand. It had faded to a pale scar that melted into his skin, in fact, someone would only see it if they had been looking, but it was there all the same. Alec had been able to draw upon similar powers as Magnus such as conquering small objects out of thin air and lighting a room up... So why couldn't Magnus have drawn on Alec's powers besides the usual battle moves and agility? It was worth a shot, Magnus thought, stretching the hand that held the rune on it. He gently wrapped his fingers around the handle, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

'I am Magnus Bane, partner of Alexander Lightwood, a Shadowhunter and a angel-blood descendant. I ask that you allow me passage.'

For a moment Magnus feared that it didn't work, cracking an eye open as he let out a sigh of disappointment, making as if to take his hand away before stiffening with a jolt, something akin to an electrical charge moving from the bottoms of his feet to the tips of his hair. A low groan sounded in his ears before with a creak the door opened under the slight pressure of his hand and he stared at it in astonishment, mouth open. Sure he had thought that maybe he had acquired more than just a few battle skills but this had been a long shot and he hadn't actually thought it would work! He shook his head incredulously, moving the door open further, eyeing it warily as he slipped through as if afraid that it would slam shut on him. And maybe it would, who knew? Maybe it had made a mistake and would realize it just as he moved to enter, slamming shut and crushing him in the process-

The door closed softly behind him and he blinked at the sudden darkness, his eyes dilating to make up for the lack of lighting. He gave the door one last glance before with a shake of his head he strode towards the stairs. If Alec was still here he would be in the weapons room.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus sighed looking around the empty room dejectedly. Weapons hung from the walls, every inch covered in various sizes and shapes that glinted dangerously. All meant to kill demons and Downworlders. He swallowed uneasily. Magnus would never tell Alec how much the Institute unsettled him sometimes. Just seeing the weapons and knowing that they had been used against beings that were similar to him, that they may have even been drenched in the blood of his own... He shuddered, turning away from the stench of cleaning oil and blood. For Magnus _could _smell it. Though it was faded and almost overwhelmed by the many oils the Shadowhunters used to clean their weapons... It was still there.

He slipped through the doorway making his way down the hall, heels clicking gently against the wood. It was obvious that Alec and the others had already left, he might as well leave. But as he was headed towards the stairs a familiar door caught his eye.

Alec's room... He stopped, staring at it longingly. If only he could walk through the door way and see his Shadowhunter laying peacefully on his bed. Or with his nose stuck in a book, sprawled out across the comforter. Magnus closed his eyes, shaking his head before taking a hesitant step forwards. Eyeing the door warily. It was almost as if he was afraid the house would come alive and devour him whole if he took a wrong step. He shook his head one last time scolding himself at such thoughts. You're being ridiculous! He chided before twisting the knob and entering, shutting the door gently behind him.

The room was dark, the heavy black curtains drawn, blocking out any light that may have shone through the window and leaving the room in darkness. Magnus paused for a few moments, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light once more.

He scanned the room quickly taking in the familiar sight with a small smile. The blue walls were the same as were the sheets of the bed and the large bookshelf on the left wall along with the small writing desk near the window. The only thing it was missing, Magnus mused fingering a old sweater that he assumed had been thrown at the chair in haste, was the Shadowhunter himself.

He moved towards the bed, stroking the soft material. Magnus could remember just laying with Alec at night when the Shadowhunter was supposed to be asleep and when he was supposed to be at his flat, just talking and laughing in hushed whispers, hands and legs entwined as their lips met in soft kisses every now and then.

_"Magnus!" Alec laughed softly, voice in a hissed whisper as the Warlock pressed gentle kisses around his neck and down his chest. "Stop that!"_

_Magnus smirked against the currently shirt-less skin of his boyfriend. "And why would I do that love?"_

_"B-Because!" Alec gasped out as his lovers fingers tickled his sides. "They'll hear us!"_

_Magnus rolled his eyes playfully, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to the Shadowhunter's nose. "And that, my dear Shadowhunter, is what sound-proof spells are for."_

_Alec grinned, raising a eyebrow playfully. "Does everything lead back to various ways of getting me in different stages of undress when it comes to you?"_

_Magnus shrugged, eyes glinting as he smirked sinfully. "It's not my fault you're just so irresistible."_

He sat down heavily, hands moving to the pocket of his jacket where he proceeded to remove the stele there, holding it up before his face and eyeing the dark metal. This was the cause of him traveling across the city and getting his hopes up only to find that his love had already left. Magnus rolled his eyes, falling back onto the bed with a soft thud, twisting his head to bury his face into the pale pillows. They smelled like Alec, soft and comforting. He curled into the blankets, legs pulling up around his body as he laid on his side, one hand near his head, the other still holding the stele. He inhaled the soothing scent of his love, letting his body relax into the sheets as his eyes drifted shut, the glint of the stele shinning one last time before he surrendered to sleep.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus blinked disorientedly, eyes gazing out at the darkness as he snuggled into the warmth below him. He inhaled, smiling softly when he recognized the scent.

"Alec."

Alec... Alec!

"Shit!" He sat up, eyes darting around the room before settling on the clock that sat on the wooden night stand beside the bed. The numbers 7:45pm glared back at him sending another curse tumbling from his lips.

He threw his legs over the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes before walking quickly to the door. He gave one last glance at the room before opening the door, entering the hallway, the door closing behind him. Magnus stood still for a few moments, head cocked to the side as he searched for any sound that might alert him to anyone else being in the building, praying that the fates wouldn't be so cruel...

When he heard nothing he took another more confident step down the hall, a relieved grin lifting his lips upwards. Thank god. Maybe his luck was looking up-

The sound of a soft voice made its way to his ears just as he made it to the bottom of the steps. The sound of Maryse Lightwood. Magnus froze raising his eyes to the ceiling as if asking 'Why?' Maryse fucking Lightwood. Maryse. Lightwood. Alec's mother. Alec's _scary_ mother.

"Dammit."

**~OxoXoxO~**

Why? He thought despairingly towards the ceiling, eyes frantically searching for an escape. What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? He wondered on the verge of hysteria.

Her voice was getting closer and closer and he knew that he didn't have much time. He scanned the hallway, eyes zeroing in on a door several feet away. It would be a close call he thought, eyes darting back towards the voice.

Lets see. Get caught by Alec's scary mother and possibly be disemboweled or aim for the door and slim the chances of getting caught and thus getting disemboweled? He took off towards the door, cursing the sounds his heels made against the wood and praying Alec's Shadowhunter stealthy-ness came in handy.

He reached out towards the door knob, desperately praying that it was unlocked and nearly sobbing in relief when it was. Magnus yanked the door open, barely managing to slip inside and close the door before Maryse appeared in the hall.

He leaned back against the door, panting raggedly as he struggled to calm his frantic heart.

"If you don't shut up and calm down she'll hear you and turn you into cat food." He hissed, tensing when her voice came panic-worthy close before moving past him. Only when he heard the soft slam of a door did he relax, lifting his head to scan the room.

He inhaled sharply at what he saw. A large family picture stared back at him from across the room over a rather large fire place. Maryse and Robert stood in it, a small baby in their arms, smiling sternly at the camera. A little girl with black curls and black eyes clung to Maryse's side. However, that wasn't what made him freeze and stare in shock. No. It was the small boy that stood just off to the side of Robert, black ravens wing hair falling into his sparkling blue eyes as he grinned happily.

"Alec?"

* * *

**Okay so there was a hint towards lemons but I didn't actually put them in. Sorry about that, but it just would've take away from the plot! But! Never fear! There shall be lemons! (soon. preferably in the next chapter though they may not make it until the fifth one)**

**Look at that, its longer than the last one. Seems like I lied when I said you had to wait until the fifth chap to see the chapters get longer. Go figure. *shrugs***

**Sooooo… You know what happens next right? I beg for reviews and you guys (hopefully) sate my addiction to them and I type the next chap faster and everyone is happy! (Seriously guys. Your reviews are what made me want to write this, I had no inspiration what so ever and then I looked over your responses and BOOM! I was writing like crazy.) So sate the crazy writer and you shall get your chapters (and Malec-y goodness) much faster!**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	3. Though I Haven't Seen You

**.**

**_Learning You_**

3_~Though I Haven't Seen You~_3

**.**

* * *

Magnus stared up at the imposing building, pulling the collar of his black Armani jacket closer to his neck when a soft gust of wind pushed past him. There was a reason he hated and normally avoided Shadowhunters and their houses. Not only was it both uncomfortable to be near/on hollow ground but he could also feel the protective wards pressing against him, hissing their distress and hatred like they were actual beings. When he was with Alec or his siblings it was easy to ignore the pressure pushing down on him and the feeling of wrongness in the air, but now, all alone, he had nothing to help distract him from it.

Well, a snide voice whispered, you've arrived at the Institute. How do you propose you get in? Magnus frowned at the thought. It was a good question. How was he going to get in? Without a Nephilim around it was next to impossible to open the doors. He walked forward, heels clicking against the stones as he climbed the stairs to stop before the two heavy doors, eyebrows down turned in thought.

_"You know." Magnus huffed at the top of the steps. "It's really quite annoying when I have to wait outside because a Nephilim has to open the doors."_

_Alec grimaced, climbing the stairs to wrap his arms around the slightly shivering Warlock. "I know but I can't help it. Izzy kidnapped me for one of her shopping trips and I didn't have time to text you. I'm sorry."_

_Magnus sighed, burying his face in the Shadowhunter's neck. "I suppose it's alright. I understand how Izzy can be. But!" Magnus grinned, pulling back to gaze down at Alec. "You have to make it up to me in a much more pleasant environment."_

_Alec smiled, leaning up to brush a kiss against the Warlock's lips. "That can be arranged." He pulled back, disentangling his arms from around Magnus' waist to grasp the silver handle in his hand, opening it effortlessly._

_"How does it work anyway?" Magnus asked once they were safely inside the building._

_Alec glanced at him quizzically. "What?"_

_"The door. I mean," Magnus continued, waving a hand. "I know the basics but do you have to do anything besides have angel blood?"_

_"Well," Alec tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "I'm not really sure. I just know that when I touch it and think along the lines of, 'I am Alexander Lightwood, member of the Shadowhunters and angel-blood decedent' it opens."_

_"Hm." Magnus murmured, eyeing the door thoughtfully._

_"Now." Alec said, moving towards the Warlock. "No one's home and I did say I would make it up to you didn't I?"_

_Magnus smirked playfully, eyes glinting as he glanced down at the decidedly closer Shadowhunter. "Oh?" He whispered huskily._

_"Uh-huh." Alec closed the distance between them, erasing any thoughts that may have been in his mind._

Magnus shook his head at the slight wave of pain and loneliness that the memory brought, focusing on the door as a distraction.

Just think your name and that you are a part of the Shadowhunters? Magnus gazed at the door before glancing down at the alliance rune that shone on the skin of his hand. It had faded to a pale scar that melted into his skin, in fact, someone would only see it if they had been looking, but it was there all the same. Alec had been able to draw upon similar powers as Magnus such as conquering small objects out of thin air and lighting a room up... So why couldn't Magnus have drawn on Alec's powers besides the usual battle moves and agility? It was worth a shot, Magnus thought, stretching the hand that held the rune on it. He gently wrapped his fingers around the handle, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath.

'I am Magnus Bane, partner of Alexander Lightwood, a Shadowhunter and a angel-blood descendant. I ask that you allow me passage.'

For a moment Magnus feared that it didn't work, cracking an eye open as he let out a sigh of disappointment, making as if to take his hand away before stiffening with a jolt, something akin to an electrical charge moving from the bottoms of his feet to the tips of his hair. A low groan sounded in his ears before with a creak the door opened under the slight pressure of his hand and he stared at it in astonishment, mouth open. Sure he had thought that maybe he had acquired more than just a few battle skills but this had been a long shot and he hadn't actually thought it would work! He shook his head incredulously, moving the door open further, eyeing it warily as he slipped through as if afraid that it would slam shut on him. And maybe it would, who knew? Maybe it had made a mistake and would realize it just as he moved to enter, slamming shut and crushing him in the process-

The door closed softly behind him and he blinked at the sudden darkness, his eyes dilating to make up for the lack of lighting. He gave the door one last glance before with a shake of his head he strode towards the stairs. If Alec was still here he would be in the weapons room.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus sighed looking around the empty room dejectedly. Weapons hung from the walls, every inch covered in various sizes and shapes that glinted dangerously. All meant to kill demons and Downworlders. He swallowed uneasily. Magnus would never tell Alec how much the Institute unsettled him sometimes. Just seeing the weapons and knowing that they had been used against beings that were similar to him, that they may have even been drenched in the blood of his own... He shuddered, turning away from the stench of cleaning oil and blood. For Magnus _could _smell it. Though it was faded and almost overwhelmed by the many oils the Shadowhunters used to clean their weapons... It was still there.

He slipped through the doorway making his way down the hall, heels clicking gently against the wood. It was obvious that Alec and the others had already left, he might as well leave. But as he was headed towards the stairs a familiar door caught his eye.

Alec's room... He stopped, staring at it longingly. If only he could walk through the door way and see his Shadowhunter laying peacefully on his bed. Or with his nose stuck in a book, sprawled out across the comforter. Magnus closed his eyes, shaking his head before taking a hesitant step forwards. Eyeing the door warily. It was almost as if he was afraid the house would come alive and devour him whole if he took a wrong step. He shook his head one last time scolding himself at such thoughts. You're being ridiculous! He chided before twisting the knob and entering, shutting the door gently behind him.

The room was dark, the dark curtains drawn, blocking out any light that may have shone through the window and leaving the room in darkness. Magnus paused for a few moments, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the lack of light once more.

He scanned the room quickly taking in the familiar sight with a small smile. The dark walls were the same as were the sheets of the bed and the large bookshelf on the left wall along with the small writing desk near the window. The only thing it was missing, Magnus mused fingering a old sweater that he assumed had been thrown at the chair in haste, was the Shadowhunter himself.

He moved towards the bed, stroking the soft material. Magnus could remember just laying with Alec at night when the Shadowhunter was supposed to be asleep and when he was supposed to be at his flat, just talking and laughing in hushed whispers, hands and legs entwined as their lips met in soft kisses every now and then.

_"Magnus!" Alec laughed softly, voice in a hissed whisper as the Warlock pressed gentle kisses around his neck and down his chest. "Stop that!"_

_Magnus smirked against the currently shirt-less skin of his boyfriend. "And why would I do that love?"_

_"B-Because!" Alec gasped out as his lovers fingers tickled his sides. "They'll hear us!"_

_Magnus rolled his eyes playfully, leaning up to press a gentle kiss to the Shadowhunter's nose. "And that, my dear Shadowhunter, is what sound-proof spells are for."_

_Alec grinned, raising a eyebrow playfully. "Does everything lead back to various ways of getting me in different stages of undress when it comes to you?"_

_Magnus shrugged, eyes glinting as he smirked sinfully. "It's not my fault you're just so irresistible."_

He sat down heavily, hands moving to the pocket of his jacket where he proceeded to remove the stele there, holding it up before his face and eyeing the dark metal. This was the cause of him traveling across the city and getting his hopes up only to find that his love had already left. Magnus rolled his eyes, falling back onto the bed with a soft thud, twisting his head to bury his face into the pale pillows. They smelled like Alec, soft and comforting. He curled into the blankets, legs pulling up around his body as he laid on his side, one hand near his head, the other still holding the stele. He inhaled the soothing scent of his love, letting his body relax into the sheets as his eyes drifted shut, the glint of the stele shinning one last time before he surrendered to sleep.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus blinked disorientedly, eyes gazing out at the darkness as he snuggled into the warmth below him. He inhaled, smiling softly when he recognized the scent.

"Alec."

Alec... Alec!

"Shit!" He sat up, eyes darting around the room before settling on the clock that sat on the wooden night stand beside the bed. The numbers 7:45pm glared back at him sending another curse tumbling from his lips.

He threw his legs over the edge of the bed rubbing his eyes before walking quickly to the door. He gave one last glance at the room before opening the door, entering the hallway, the door closing behind him. Magnus stood still for a few moments, head cocked to the side as he searched for any sound that might alert him to anyone else being in the building, praying that the fates wouldn't be so cruel...

When he heard nothing he took another more confident step down the hall, a relieved grin lifting his lips upwards. Thank god. Maybe his luck was looking up-

The sound of a soft voice made its way to his ears just as he made it to the bottom of the steps. The sound of Maryse Lightwood. Magnus froze raising his eyes to the ceiling as if asking 'Why?' Maryse fucking Lightwood. Maryse. Lightwood. Alec's mother. Alec's _scary_ mother.

"Dammit."

**~OxoXoxO~**

Why? He thought despairingly towards the ceiling, eyes frantically searching for an escape. What did I ever do to you to make you hate me so much? He wondered on the verge of hysteria.

Her voice was getting closer and closer and he knew that he didn't have much time. He scanned the hallway, eyes zeroing in on a door several feet away. It would be a close call he thought, eyes darting back towards the voice.

Lets see. Get caught by Alec's scary mother and possibly be disemboweled or aim for the door and slim the chances of getting caught and thus getting disemboweled? He took off towards the door, cursing the sounds his heels made against the wood and praying Alec's Shadowhunter stealthy-ness come in handy.

He reached out towards the door knob desperately praying that it was unlocked and nearly sobbing in relief when it was. Magnus yanked the door open, barely managing to slip inside and close the door before Maryse appeared in the hall.

He leaned back against the door, panting raggedly as he struggled to calm his frantic heart.

"If you don't shut up and calm down she'll hear you and turn you into cat food." He hissed, tensing when her voice came panic-worthy close before moving past him. Only when he heard the soft slam of a door did he relax, lifting his head to scan the room.

He inhaled sharply at what he saw. A large family picture stared back at him from across the room over a rather large fire place. Maryse and Robert stood in it, a small baby in their arms, smiling sternly at the camera. A little girl with black curls and black eyes clung to Maryse's side. However, that wasn't what made him freeze and stare in shock. No. It was the small boy that stood just off to the side of Robert, black ravens wing hair falling into his sparkling blue eyes as he grinned happily.

"Alec?"

* * *

**Okay so there was a hint towards lemons but I didn't actually put them in. Sorry about that, but it just would've take away from the plot! But! Never fear! There shall be lemons! (soon. preferably in the next chapter though they may not make it until the fifth one)**

**Look at that, its longer than the last one. Seems like I lied when I said you had to wait until the fifth chap to see the chapters get longer. Go figure. *shrugs***

**Sooooo… You know what happens next right? I beg for reviews and you guys (hopefully) sate my addiction to them and I type the next chap faster and everyone is happy! (Seriously guys. Your reviews are what made me want to write this, I had no inspiration what so ever and then I looked over your responses and BOOM! I was writing like crazy.) So sate the crazy writer and you shall get your chapters (and Malec-y goodness) much faster!**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	4. God, I Feel So Frustrated Lately

**.**

**_Learning You_**

4_~God I Feel So Frustrated Lately~_4

**.**

* * *

Looking at Alec's smiling face, devoid of any of the sadness and reservation he normally had, the world melted away. For a moment Magnus didn't care that he was hiding in some random room, in danger of being caught by his boyfriend's Mother -who didn't exactly approve of him in the first place- and technically trespassing, all he cared about was ingraining that expression of complete and utter innocence in his mind. He moved forward, stiffening when a low creak sounded from beneath his feet, eyes flicking to the door before letting out a quiet sigh of relief. Magnus studied the boards beneath his feet with a new light, eyeing the distance between him and the picture. If he continued there was a chance that he would get caught... Was it really worth it? He eyed the picture again, eyes narrowing in determination. _Absolutely._

Magnus' eyes flicked back to the door. He took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he was about to do before striding forwards, closing the distance in three large strides, the wood beneath his feet thankfully only letting out one low creak before he stood before the large framed picture. The way it was hung -and the factor of his height- made it so he was almost directly face to face with the photo.

He stretched a hand out, gingerly placing long fingers on the glass by Alec's face. From the looks of the picture it seemed that he was nine or ten years old, his face still slightly rounded with baby fat giving him a soft look and increasing the look of innocence. Even captured in a photo years ago, Alec's eyes shone like liquid pools of water, the different shades of blue weaving into each other like the lapping of waves. Magnus could get lost in those eyes.

The Warlock leaned closer, resting his forehead against the glass as he stared at the small form of his love. Even at a young age Magnus could see the beauty that would soon shine through. His face, slightly rounded and child-like, would give way to a sculpted nose and soft jaw. His eye lashes would grow longer still then they already were and his lips would grow fuller, the bottom just slightly bigger than the top. His body would change, pale, unmarked flesh becoming marked with scars and runes; the rounded softness fading into strong muscle. Magnus traced the pale skin of Alec's arm, circling the place where a silver scar would one day lay. Over time Magnus had acquainted himself with the Shadowhunter's body, mapping every scar and rune, every muscle and dip into his mind until he could remember it perfectly. He made it a point to ingrain even the littlest of details into his mind, _especially_ since every moment they saw each other could be their last. But that was besides the point. This boy in the photo was completely different from the Alexander Lightwood he knew. This child was free and open, he seemed to show emotion without hesitation. So what he really wanted to know was...

"What happened to you, love?" He murmured, breath fogging the glass. Magnus backed away, looking along the walls and moving around the room when he saw more pictures. There were photos of Isabelle, smiling up from her place at the table, a bowl of something unnameable sitting in front of her. There were pictures of who he assumed to be Max as a child, solemn faced with his nose stuck in a book. And there were images of Jace, smirks and all. But what stood out to the Warlock the most were the ones of his love. There were photos of him painting something or another on the walls, nose scrunched up in concentration. There were pictures of him sprawled on the floor, stacks and stacks of books surrounding him. And there were images of him in Shadowhunter gear, for what Magnus assumed, were the first time. But through it all, the thing that caught Magnus' eye the most were his expressions. The images seemed to go year by year and as the years continued on, Alec's eyes seemed to get more distant, his face showing less and less emotion until he was the boy Magnus had met at Chairman Meow's party. Solemn faced and sticking to the shadows. He went from trimmed hair and nicely fitted clothes to holey sweaters and ratty jeans. It didn't make any sense to the Warlock. Sure he knew that when his love had realized he was gay he had secluded himself from everyone else but... Surly there was _more_? It couldn't have just been that one thing that sent him so far into seclusion... Right? Magnus was going to find out.

He shook his head. Now wasn't the time to think about that. He needed to get out of here before Maryse came back and found him skulking in the shadows, not only would she hate him even more, but he was sure she'd probably do something drastic seeing as Warlocks weren't even supposed to be allowed into the Institute in the first place. He cast one last look around before reaching a hand out to grab a picture, that he couldn't help but stare at, off of one of the many shelfs in the room. With the frame clasped tightly in his hand he strode across the room, pausing to press his ear to the wooden door, listening for any sound that might mean Maryse was near by and in hearing none opened the door and slipping through, closing the door gently behind him.

Now. If only the trip to the front door is this easy. Magnus mused to himself, moving down the hall.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Dammit! He just had to go and invite what ever god there was to screw with him didn't he?

Alright, you can do this. He mentally encouraged himself, taking a deep breath as he glanced at the light beaming out from underneath the kitchen door. Magnus listened once more for any movements aimed towards the door and when hearing none he darted forwards, pressing himself to the other side of the hallway once he had passed. He silently thanked Lilith that he and Alec had marked each other with the alliance rune, otherwise he would have been screwed by now. The Warlock moved to head towards the door only to still when he heard a familiar name.

Magnus blinked owilishly, eyes darting from the way to the front door back to the kitchen and back. Don't do it. He warned himself. Don't do it-

"...Alec..."

He moved forwards, getting as close as he dared before pressing his ear against the wall.

You know that saying? Curiosity killed the cat? Well I think this applies to you. A mocking voice hissed before he shooed it away, trying his best to not crush the picture frame in his hands when he zero-ed in on the conversation.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Maryse Lightwood paced around the kitchen, a phone in her hands as she tried not to burst into tears. "I don't know! I mean-"

She paused, listening to something a feminine sounding voice said before answering back, running a hand through her hair. "No! Alec isn't like that! He would never do something like that!"

A sceptic question answered her in return and she bit her lip. "Have you seen him? He would _never_ let someone use him like that! He's not some common whore!"

Somethig along the lines of, 'Are you sure?' answered back at her and she slammed her fist into the counter, not even cringing at the pain as she shouted angrily at the phone. "Why? WHY? Because he thinks he's in love with him!"

The voice took on a gentler tone, and she sobbed, sliding down onto the floor. "I don't know. He's always been... _Reclusive_ but I never thought that - Well I mean - I never even considered that -" She swallowed. "I never thought that he would believe himself to be _gay_."

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus snarled. Now Magnus could understand why Alec hated going to the Institute so much. He had said that Marsye was much more accepting of his sexuality than Robert and from what he was hearing, if that were true, well then Magnus felt a fresh wave of sorrow and anger wash over him on his love's behalf. Hearing this, Magnus silently vowed that if Robert or Maryse made any move or said a single thing to alienate Alec when Magnus was around, there would be hell to pay. Hell, the only reason he wasn't storming through that door and giving Maryse a good tongue-lashing was because he wasn't even supposed to be here in the first place.

Marsye, you better thank your lucky stars that the case of 'trespassing' just saved your sorry excuse of a hide. Magnus seethed silently.

He needed to get out of here before he really lost control, it was hard enough holding back the angry sparks of mgic that threatened to excape. He gave the door one last dark glance before turning away, struggling to get the horrified tone of voice Maryse had used when discussing Alec's sexuality out of his head as he moved towards the door. It wasn't fair that someone as sweet and loving as Alec had to go through so much. Couldn't his parents see how much he was hurting inside? Evidently not. He thought darkly, slipping out into the cool city air.

Magnus walked home, a whirlwind of thoughts clouding his mind.

* * *

**Okay um... I don't have much to say about this chapter accept for the part with Maryse... I was origionaly going to put her POV in but then I couldn't figure out how I wanted to show her *cough* I got lazy *cough* so I just stuck with what you would have heard of the conversation. And another thing... If you can't already tell, this fic won't be very Maryse (or Robert for that matter) friendly. I do not like them. Maryse is a bitch and Robert is a dick (a perfect match!) and frankly I really hope someone gives them a good tongue-lashing about Alec in the next book (all the better if it's Alec -or Magnus- doing it).**

**IMPORTANT! I need you guys to do me a really big favor (well it isn't that big per say) I have a poll on my profile and I would really appreciate it if you would vote. It's about my upcoming Malec stories, so if you want a say in what I'm doing next please go vote! :)**

**Reviews are love and you don't want to be a hater do you?**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	5. Stay That Way

**Okay so I just noticed that FF put up a thing where under properties you can see how many hits your stories got who's following it and so on without having to go to all those different sections like traffic stats and so on (feel free to laugh at how long it took me to realize this). And I was looking at who was following this story for curiosity's sake (since I don't have email alerts on for that) and I nearly flipped out when I saw some of my favorite writers listed. My main reaction was to stare at the screen with the thought, 'Shit, really?' before doing a mental happy dance. *blush* So I'd just like to thank everyone for your support (despite my denseness) even though this story is just in the beginnings of being written. You guys make my day. :)**

**Now! Onto the (very late) stor-ay! XD**

* * *

**.**

**_Learning You_**

5_~Stay That Way~_5

**.**

* * *

Magnus barely remembered getting home, one minute he was walking down the darkened streets of the city and then he was walking through his apartment door, thoughts still swirling around in his head and his eyes unfocused.

He moved around as if in a daze, shedding his boots and banishing them to the depths of his closet with a snap before walking down the hall and into his empty room, mechanically shedding his skin-tight clothes and replacing them with a pair of green silk pajama pants. He reached out as if to take the deep blue robe off of the hanger it hung from before turning away, grabbing one of Alec's less ratty sweaters from the purple chair it rested on and pulling it over his head. Due to the fact that his Shadowhunter liked wearing baggy shape-less clothes, the shirt was just big enough to brush the tops of his hips, hanging off of his tall willowy frame.

Magnus breathed in the familiar scent, a small smile twisting his lips upwards as warmth encased him. He loved the way Alec smelled. It was positively... Mouthwatering. The Warlock blinked, shaking his head before raising his hand to snap, the sparkles and charcoal that had once raccooned his eyes disappearing.

He lowered himself onto the bed, laying back into the sea of different colored and sized pillows, curling into the canary yellow sheets. Magnus usually slept with next to no clothes on but now that Alec wasn't here to cuddle in his arms he found the need to copy that warmth that always encased him when he slept with his Shadowhunter, their bodies melded together until they didn't know where one began and the other ended. He breathed in the scent of his love once more, struggling to imagine that it was Alec's heat encasing him and not the blankets, that it was Alec's skin satin-smooth rubbing against his and not the cloth.

Magnus groaned, burying his head into the pillows. This was not working. He couldn't fall asleep without the comforting sound of his love breathing gently, without feeling the steady beat of his heart. He just couldn't.

The Warlock sighed, sitting up once more to look around the empty room. It was always like this every time Alec left. It took several days to adjust to not having his love beside him and even then he still had trouble sleeping. Any sleep that he did get was usually full of worries and fears of Alec not getting home or being injured. Of getting a call and having to rush somewhere for fear of his love dieing.

His fingers twitched, the need to move becoming harder and harder to resist. Magnus shifted restlessly, struggling to think of something other than the fact that he had no idea whether Alec was in trouble or not. His mind raced and he willed it to another train of thought only to groan silently when it settled on the pictures he had seen. He twisted, sliding out from under the covers to cross the room to the dresser he had placed the frame he had taken on.

It was a small silver 8x10, a picture of Alec when he was around ten or eleven years old; it was nothing like the other pictures he had seen, his love was barely even smiling in it, but it had caught his eye immediately. In the picture he could clearly see the training room, several weights and weapons sat off to the side. The floor was cleared in the middle, a single target set up, blue rings swirling into the red dotted center. Directly in the middle of the red dot was a arrow and standing next to the target, several inches taller than the large circular surface, stood Alec, a bow nearly the size of his body held gently in his right hand. A quiver of red and white feather-tipped arrows hung across his left shoulder and he gazed levelly at the camera, a small smile curving his lips upwards as his eyes shinned with triumph. Magnus had only seen that look twice on his love's face before.

_"I _do_ want this Magnus." Alec whispered, looking up into the Warlock's shinning green eyes. "I'm sorry if I ever made you think I didn't."_

_Magnus smiled softly, lifting a hand to cup the Shadowhunter's -_his_ Shadowhunter's- face, stroking the soft skin of his cheek with the pad of his thumb. "I know darling." He laughed softly. "And you've more than proved it to everyone else."_

_Alec's eyes shone as he smiled genuinely, though Magnus felt the nervous tremor in the hands around his waist. "Are they _all _staring at us?"_

_Magnus looked around, lips pursed. "Well, no- Wait." He tilted his head to the side, nodding. "Yeah, now they are."_

_Alec laughed breathlessly, heart pounding as he shook his head. "You're really something aren't you?"_

_The Warlock snorted, sending the boy a mildly insulted look. "Well I'd hope so! They don't call someone 'Magnificent' for nothing."_

_The Shadowhunter simply laughed, tightening his hands around his love, pulling him closer. He wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon._

_**~OxoXoxO~**_

_"W-Wow." Alec breathed through panted gasps. "I never thought that it'd be so..."_

_Magnus laughed, curling his body closer around his love's as he placed a gentle kiss on his sweaty temple. "I know, sweetness." _

_The Shadowhunter sighed contently as long fingers ran through his unruly locks, eyes slipping shut. When he'd regained his breath he lifted his arms, pulling the Warlock's body closer to him, naked flesh pressing against naked flesh. "Magnus?" He murmured softly._

_"Hmmm?"_

_" ...Thank you. For Everything."_

_"No thanks needed, darling." Magnus answered back, lowering his hand to tilt Alec's head upwards to meet his lips in a gentle kiss. _

_The Shadowhunter rested his forehead on the Warlock's, gazing down into the depths of green. "I love you, Magnus."_

_Magnus smiled, running a hand up his lover's bare back. "I love you too, Alexander."_

_Alec's eyes shinned brightly, a happy grin never once leaving his lips as he drifted off to sleep in the arms of the man that he loved._

Magnus padded down the hallway with the frame in his hands, pausing at the entrance to the living room in order to flick a hand at the light switch, allowing his eyes to adjust and resume their original diamond shape. He moved towards the bright pink couch, stroking the arm before flopping down onto the cushions with a sigh. The Warlock struggled not to think of the last time he had sat on the couch, his Shadowhunter's lips moving against his, hands twisted into his soft ebony locks as their tongues twined together in harmony- He shook his head. _Stop it. _Magnus ordered firmly. He glanced down at the frame intently, as if the boy in the picture would suddenly come to life and give him all the answers he seeked.

Magnus sighed. If only…

"Merow." The Warlock blinked, looking down at the floor where a small white ball of fluff stood, gazing up at him curiously.

"Hey Meow." He smiled sadly as the small cat jumped up onto his lap. "Do you miss him to?" Magnus moved a hand down to scratch his furry chin, a small noise of a purr answering him. "It always seems so lonely without him around, doesn't it?"

Chairman Meow kneaded his paws into his owner's stomach, a purr rumbling in his tiny throat as he struggled to comfort his owner, hazel eyes gleaming sadly.

Magnus laughed sadly. "Listen to me, I sound like some love-sick teenager who can't live a second without his boyfriend." He sighed.

The small cat nipped gently at the slender fingers that stroked his head, a gentle growl leaving his throat.

"Yes, I know, I know. Alec does seem to have that affect on people doesn't he?" It was silent for a moment save the soothing sound of soft purrs radiating from the cat in his lap before he sat up with a loud clap as he brought his hands together, startling the animal in his lap who gave a protesting yowl. "Anyways! Enough with the moping! I can deal with this! It's only a month, after all. Besides," He waved a manicured hand. "I finally have some time to look through the Book of White."

The Warlock closed his eyes, focusing his power before with a flick of his hand a medium sized book was plopping into his lap, just missing Chairman Meow who jumped up with a hiss, darting down to Magnus' feet where he curled up, keeping a disgruntled gaze on his owner.

Magnus stroked the familiar cover softly, placing the frame at his side on the smooth coffee table in front of him, eyes lingering on his love's young face with a small smile before turning back to the book, settling down for some heavy reading.

**~OxoXoxO~**

Magnus yawned, eyes finally beginning to droop from exhaustion. He had been at this for more than… He glanced at the blue purple-sparkle-covered clock, groaning at what he saw. 4:32am. He had been at this for over 6 hours. The Warlock sighed, absent mindedly turning the page.

This spell book he had learned, had some of the most deadly and difficult spells he had ever seen. Half of them he didn't think were even _possible_, and that was saying something considering his level of power. The other half were just plain ridiculous. And by ridiculous he meant the conditions needed. Who kept a live beating human's heart on hand? He shook his head incredulously. Magnus made as if to shut the book before the title at the top of the page caught his eye. Pausing, he stroked the elegant script, murmuring the words absent mindedly under his breath, his gaze flickering to the picture of Alec almost on instinct.

"_Doctrina amo etque animas_." The words made his stomach twist, a strange shudder moving up his spine. The Warlock gazed at the words intently, all exhaustion forgotten as he repeated the words in English. "_Learning love and soul_."

His gaze moved down to read the description, eyes moving swiftly across the page, certain words sticking out to him above others. _"The soul… immortal essence… always… mind… bonded… separate entity… soulmates…" _He paused at that, brows furrowing. Soulmates? They actually existed? The page went on to say that the memories contained within the mind could be very intricate and overwhelming and that entering another's memories can often be dangerous and more often than not- fatal. Magnus frowned at this. It kept on talking about memories and yet when he glanced at the actual spell it was talking about the _past_, not actual _memories_. A mix-up perhaps? Or an effort to scare and keep others away? He shook his head moving on to the conditions needed.

"_To cast such a spell one must have pure intentions in mind. One cannot enter another's mind and memories without first making it clear that you do not seek to harm, or else the mind can -if strong enough- expel you out and quite possibly, destroy all chances of you being able to return to your present body. One must also have an attachment to the mind you wish to enter so that upon contact, the mind will recognize and accept on a spiritual level. In most cases friends and family will do though lover's are much more commonly accepted and are less likely to be forced out."_

Magnus paused at this. Lover's being more accepted than family? He raised an eyebrow wondering just what kind of Warlock had written this. The phrase '_soulmates_' sprang to mind and any amusement vanished.

"_Whilst casting the spell you must think of the one who's mind you want to enter and nothing else. It takes complete and utter concentration in order to form the bond between minds and more often than not, if not performed properly, it can cause damage both on you and on the one you wish to see into."_

So it was one of those spells then. The Warlock mused. The one that always had a catch there to bite you in the ass. It was always like this when it came to these types of spells. It gave you a seemingly perfect spell for your purposes and then hounded you with danger after danger.

"_The bond can only be formed if _both_ you and the other are both connected to each other and in sync, be it on a physical level or an emotional or both, you _must _have some level of even ground that will allow you to cross the gap and enter through the other's highest and most guarded place. It takes the utmost trust, for when you perform the spell the one you perform it on will not know a thing until you come into contact afterwards."_

Magnus tilted his head to the side. Ah. So it was one of _those_ as well. The spells where the one you performed it on -or the victim as he called it since they really had no idea what was going on- was completely unaware. It was one of the most dangerous spells out there since if the person you were casting on didn't know what was happening, they could end up seriously hurting themselves and or you. These spells were usually used for assassinations or capturing and were only ever used on the extremely dangerous criminals. He hadn't seen one casted since about a hundred years ago. Magnus shook his head. So it not only was performed on an unknowing victim it was also all based on trust and bonds and had about a thousand dangers mixed in. Jeez, just what the hell was this spell?

He moved on, frowning when he noticed that it didn't even mention the amount of power needed and what supplies had to be used. It was as if it had been used as a do-it-now-think-about-it-later type of spell. The most dangerous kind. The Warlock moved to the next page, fingers moving across the words scrawled there. He murmured the words under his breath, voice moving fluidly as his pupils dilated in concentration.

"_Atvērtu prātu un dvēseli, _

_Ļaut kļūt par visai gara. _

_Veido saikni starp uzticību un mīlestību, _

_Ļaut vienam, lai patērētu dvēsele. _

_Atveriet atmiņas _

_Sāpes, bēdas un mīlestību. _

_Ļaut vienam, lai nāk uz citu _

_un atpūsties noguruši dvēselēm. _

_Pieņemt visus, _

_Mīlu visu, _

_Atļaut patiesību spīdēt. _

_Atrast mieru viens otru _

_Ļaujiet divas puse ir kļuvusi par vienu."_

As he finished the last line the words seemed to echo around him and on impulse he looked to the side, his eyes meeting the shinning blue's of his love. Magnus tensed, the bottom of his stomach dropping once more as a familiar shiver worked its way up his spine. The Chairman, who had been asleep until now gave a sudden yowl, hair fluffing up in agitation as he jumped down, streaking towards the windowsill where he proceeded to crouch, hissing at his owner.

"Meow, what-?" Magnus blinked, eyes suddenly drooping as the exhaustion he'd felt before came down onto him all at once. He was distantly aware of putting the book -still opened and on the same page- on the table next to the picture of Alec; and as his head drooped he whispered softly to the love that was somewhere out there fighting demons, hoping beyond all hope that he would return safely to him.

"Goodnight, love."

* * *

Okay so, the spell translates (roughly) into:

An open mind and soul,

Let spirit become quite.

Creates a link between the trust and love,

Allow one to consume the soul.

Open the memory

Pain, sorrow and love.

Allow one to come to another

and relax tired souls.

Accept all,

Love all of it.

Allow the truth to shine.

Find peace in one another

Let the two sides become one.

**I am so freaking sorry this took so long! I've been extremly busy with my brother's birthday party and my cousins coming down and going out on 'family' trips... It's just been hectic. *sigh* And top it off with having slight difficulty with this chapter and you get... A two (I think) week late update. Again I'm exremly sory, feel free to send me some hate mail. However... It gets worse. I'm going on a camping trip for half of this week and the other half I have summer school (damn you spanish! *shakes fist*) So I won't be able to update friday. But! I shall (if we are both lucky) in return for taking so long, give you two chapters the next time I update.**

**IMPORTANTO!**

**Okay, so I feel bad for not giving you guys lemons and teasing you with slight views of ones so I'm considering putting up a collection of one-shots of deleted scenes that I wasn't able to put in the actual chapters, including (possibly) Maryse's POV of the phone conversation, the scene with Magnus and Alec in the Institute and ext. Would that interest you guys? O.O**

**Please review and tell me what you think! (even if its to tell me how much you loathe me for taking so long) I had difficulty on the spell part so I would appreciate it if you would tell me how you thought that went. )**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	6. Let Me Out Of This Dream

**.**

**_Learning You_**

6_~Let Me Out Of This Dream~_6

**.**

* * *

Waking up was never fun for Magnus. It meant another day full of whinny dimwitted clients and moments he could have better spent with his lover. Waking up was always unpleasant –unless of course, he was waking up to his Shadowhunter in his arms, then it was rather worth it- and it was even more so when he awoke on the hardwood floor with no recollection of getting there in the first place.

"Ugg." The Warlock groaned, rolling onto his back as he raised an arm to his face, covering his eyes. A slow shiver ran up his back and he sighed. He supposed he should have known better than to fall asleep on the couch but, then again, he didn't remember it being so… Uncomfortable. Magnus frowned shifting so that he could peek out at his surroundings, bleary eyes suddenly becoming startlingly coherent as his pupils dilated in shock. He sat up with a gasp, staggering upwards, shooting an arm out to steady himself against the drearily painted walls, raising a hand to his face and rubbing his eyes before pulling away to look around once more.

"Oh god." Magnus muttered, leaning back against the wall as his eyes scanned the hallway he was standing in. The Institute. He was in the bloody Institute. He would know those darkened walls and cold hard floors anywhere.

The Warlock ran back through his memories, from the point where he had left the very halls he stood in and to where he'd been in his apartment, sitting on his brightly colored couch and reading a spell out loud… His eyes widened in horror.

"No." He breathed.

"Magnus Bane."

Said individual started, twisting sharply to meet the owner of the voice. A tall figure, just a few inches shorter than the Warlock himself, stood a few feet away from him, clad in a cloak from top to bottom, a blackened hood fell over his head and hid his face in shadow. If he hadn't just spoken Magnus would have said he was a silent brother.

"Yes…?"

The figure stepped forward, and Magnus guessed, that had the cloak not hid his face –for the voice was masculine and deep- their eyes would have met.

"I'm your guide; I'm here to help you through your chosen person's memories."

…And that brought Magnus back to his inner freak out. "No." He moaned, raising a hand to rub at his face. "No no no no no! I didn't even cast that spell!" He began pacing, going from one wall to the other in a manner that had anyone been watching besides the silent figure, he was sure they would have been laughing.

"I can assure you, that you did."

The Warlock turned, stalking up to the hooded figure until they were face to face, or well, in this case, face to hood. This close he could just barely make out the figure's lips which were pressed into a worried line. "How?" He demanded. "How did this happen? I didn't even put any of my magic into it!"

"Actually," that voice murmured, "You did." Before Magnus could reply the figure was continuing on calmly. "_Doctrina amo etque animas_ is a… Unique spell. As I'm sure you've read, it only ever works if the conditions are just right."

"And I'm to presume the conditions were 'just right'?" The Warlock interrupted with a scowl.

"Yes." The figure replied simply, the hood dipping for a moment in a nod. "I'm sure you saw that there were no instructions on how to go about casting _doctrina amo etque animas_?" At the shake of his head the figure continued. "That is because if the conditions are right, the spell will cast itself. That feeling of exhaustion after you spoke the spell out loud, that was the effects of your power being slowly siphoned out to form the bond between you and your chosen person."

"But that doesn't explain-"

"Magnus Bane," the figure interrupted, ignoring the scowl he threw at him. "When you were casti- _speaking_,_ doctrina amo etque animas_ you were thinking of Alec's childhood correct?"

"How did you…" He shook his head. "Yes."

"You wanted to know what happened, why he seemed so withdrawn after his so many years, why he is who he is now."

"Yes."

"And when you looked at his picture and felt that familiar warmth and affection as the power of the words you spoke hung in the air, that was the final factor that led to it being cast. The fact that you _genuinely _wanted to know with no ulterior motive other than concern for your lover, that was what made the spell complete."

Magnus frowned at this, crossing his arms and jutting a hip out. "How did you know all that?"

He could see a wry smile curl the figure's lips upwards. "I'm your guide Magnus Bane, specifically chosen to lead you through your chosen person' memories. Which means; that everything that you think up here," A pale hand, covered to the wrist rose to tap at his cloaked head and dimly Magnus noted the black painted finger nails, "I know. That way I can guide you easily through what you seek instead of plodding hopelessly through insignificant memories."

"They are not insignificant." Magnus muttered before adding in, "And call me Magnus, no need to add the 'Bane' every time."

"What?" The voice sounded surprised, as if he hadn't been expecting to be allowed to call the Warlock by his first name.

"I said call me Magnus, you know, my first name?" He tilted his head to the side. "It's getting tedious hearing you say 'Magnus Bane' this and 'Magnus Bane' that so just call me Magnus, alright?"

The figure dipped his head. "Alright."

"Now then!" Magnus clapped, cringing slightly when the sound echoed off the walls. As if hearing his thoughts the figure spoke.

"Don't worry; as long as you're here you are invisible to anyone in the memory. They cannot see, hear or even smell you. You're nothing more than a ghost if you will, invisible and silently watching. They will have no clue that you're there."

The Warlock nodded at this, glad that that was one last thing to take care of. "So what happens now?" He inquired, eyeing the figure and wishing he could meet his eyes to make sure he wasn't being lied to; windows to the soul and all that.

"I'm going to take you to the first memory, but first," the voice trailed off, tilting his head to the side. Magnus was sure that had he been able to see his face, it would have held hesitation. "I… I need you to trust me Magnus. If we're going to get through this before Alec gets home than you need to trust me to get you to where you want to be."

"And why," Magnus murmured. "Should I trust you when you won't even show me your face?"

The figure sighed. "Ever heard of privacy?"

"Every heard of not trusting strangers?" Magnus countered.

"Tell you what, I'll take you through the first memory and if you don't believe that I mean nothing but to help you I'll send you someone else. But, if you do decide to trust me, I promise that I will show you my face at the end of our… Journey."

Magnus eyed the figure, at war with the two sides of his mind. One side, the side that was pulled over from when his existence was cursed and hated said not to trust him, that he was clearly going to lull him into a false sense of security and then strike. The other side –the side that sounded allot like Alec now that he thought about it- said that the figure had not made a move to hurt him yet when he could have obviously done it when he was unaware and sleeping. Magnus sighed, letting his eyes slip shut as he nodded. "Alright, let's do it."

**~OxoXoxO~**

Time traveling, -or should he say memory traveling?- was not as he expected it. It was much like walking through a portal only instead of colors and magic swirling around it was memories.

_"…Alec! Do you think…"_

_"…Mother and Father are gone again…"_

_"…Izzy I-I think that…"_

_"…Magnus Bane…"_

_"…I think I'm in love with someone…"_

It was startling, Magnus mused, barely paying attention to the figure that grasped his hand, pulling him forwards –or backwards, depends on how you look at it- to their destination. It was startling just how utterly vibrant and loud memories could be. They were overlapping, voices and thoughts shouting out for attention. Some were muted, as if they were slowly fading while others were bright and sharp. Emotions hit him full force like sharp needles into his brain and he had to bite back a cry, the only thing keeping him from crumpling into a ball was the hand in his and the calm voice telling him that, "It was alright and to just hold on and keep moving."

The Warlock had never known just how much Alec _felt_. His lover always kept to himself, concealing his feelings and Magnus had never thought that someone who'd been taught to hide everything away could feel so… Strongly. But then again Alec had always been different, special.

Pain; it was a bright burst of crimson, tearing at his limbs and heart and leaving him gasping for air and shaken.

Sadness; gray and stormy, like a wave of rain beating down at his mind and drowning him in the hidden tears of the soul.

Fear; white and cold, shinning down on him like headlights, as if he were the startled deer and it was the car baring down on him.

Self-hatred; it was a deep black, leaving him blindly searching for light and filling his heart with desperation for an escape.

Happiness; it was a bright yellow, a splash of sun that shone down on him and warmed his heart.

Affection; a light blue that made him want to float in it, its steadiness giving him strength.

Protectiveness; a warm orange that flowed around him, encasing him in comfort at the knowledge that he would always be safe.

Love; a bright rainbow of colors, sparkling and blinking in and out of existence. A large grin formed at the feeling of complete and utter bliss and his heart nearly burst when one word echoed back at him in his love's voice, a sigh so full of emotion that it nearly brought tears to his eyes. _Magnus._

The Warlock gasped, stumbling as his feet hit hard floor once again, reeling at what he'd just experienced. The cold hand in his dropped away and he leaned back into a dark wall, raising a shaking hand to his face to wipe at the cold sweat that had formed. "What, _the hell_ was that?" He finally managed to gasp out.

"Sorry about that," the figure murmured, voice honest in a way that made Magnus believe him. "I should have warned you first."

Magnus laughed, a wild chocking sound. "You think?! God that was…" He shook his head, rubbing at his face. "Is it always going to be like that?"

"No," the hooded head shook, "the first time is always very… Overwhelming. It gets easier each time, and you'll be able to filter out the sounds and emotions more easily. It was only like that because your's and Alec's minds were basically connecting over the bond. It will be much the same way for Alec when he comes into contact with you after the month is up."

"I… see." The Warlock shook his head before pushing off from the wall, gazing around to see that they were in the same exact place they'd been in before. "Now what?"

Magnus saw a brief flash of a smile underneath his hood before the figure gestured down the hall. "Follow me."

**~OxoXoxO~**

The Institute was much the same as it was before, Magnus found. The walls were the same dreary shade of grayish brown and the floors were cold and polished. The only difference he found, was that there wasn't the usual sound of voices that Magnus was used to. There were no teasing remarks that sometimes echoed off the halls, no shouted insults, no companionable laughter… It was just so empty.

"What year is it?" Magnus murmured, gazing around.

"Alec is about eight at the moment so it's 2001."

"I see." Magnus frowned.

They exited the hall, going down the same set of stairs Magnus had walked down a few hours ago and passing the kitchen to stop at the main entrance, the large doors that the Warlock had opened using the rune on his hand and the bond to his lover in front of them.

"Look out the window." The figure murmured, nodding his head towards the large square shaped one a few feet from the door. He looked out, seeing the familiar steps that he'd climbed countless times before and the same walkway he'd walked on just as many times. He saw the road and saw the countless cars driving by and through the city. Magnus waited for a few moments, wondering just what he was meant to be looking at and about to ask what the point of this was when a simple black car pulled up onto the sidewalk. He watched as a woman opened the driver's door, her black hair done up in an elegant bun, a few stray strands falling into her cold eyes. Maryse. She shut the door behind her before opening the door just behind her, helping a small girl with long black tresses out. Isabelle. There was no one in the passenger's seat though Magnus could see a small head through the glass of the door facing the Institute. Max couldn't have been born yet so that must mean… He watched with bated breath as the door opened, two feet clad in a pair of black sneakers stepping out onto the sidewalk. He watched a pale hand go to the side of the door, a head of trimmed black curls peeking out over the top and let out a quiet gasp as the boy came into full view.

Alec was clad in a pair of dark blue jeans with no holes to be found; a light blue shirt rested on his torso and a black and white checkered sweatshirt sat over that. His black hair, trimmed and neat and falling around his face in curls that fell just below his ears, framed his curious blue eyes and his face was slightly rounded with baby fat that was yet to be lost, those sharp cheekbones yet to be discovered.

He was utterly perfect even as a child, Magnus thought in wonder; eyes devouring the sight in front of him. This was Alec. Before he was afraid of what he was, before he was scared to be himself. This was who Alec was before he met Magnus.

He watched as the boy looked at the Institute apprehension in his eyes. Clutched a book to his stomach. Always reading, Magnus though with affection as Alec began making his way towards the steps with his Mother and sister.

He noticed how his love fell back to walk beside Izzy, whispering a few words in her ear and reaching out to give her hand a quick squeeze; shooting her an reassuring smile when she looked up, a smile that she answered back hesitantly. All this was lost on Maryse who knocked quickly on the door, face stern as her children joined her on the steps.

The Warlock heard hurried steps and glanced back to see Hodge rounding the hallway, small legs carrying him quickly to the door which he heaved open, a quick smile on his face as he faced Maryse.

"Maryse!" He greeted cheerfully. "Welcome! Come in." He stepped aside to let them in, shutting the door quickly behind them as if he were afraid someone would suddenly appear and barge in.

"So," he smiled, turning to face the three of them. "This must be Alexander and Isabelle." He stepped forward, holding a hand out to Alec's frame that nearly reached his chest.

Alec took it, shaking it timidly, and Magnus noticed the way he held the book closer to his chest. "H-Hello." He muttered, gazing up through his lashes shyly. Magnus had to stop from squealing at how utterly adorable he was.

Hodge smiled. "You remind me of your father." Alec didn't seem to know if this was a good thing or not, staying silent and clutching his book closer. "He liked books too. I can show you the library latter if you want, it's a rather large collection and I'm sure you'll be able to manage to find something that suits your tastes."

"Oh," Alec blinked, "Y-yes, that'd be w-wonderful." He smiled shyly, blushing slightly and falling silent.

Hodge, who seemed to see that he wouldn't be speaking for while turned to the small girl on the right. "Isabelle." He reached out a hand to shake her small one and she beamed.

"It's Izzy!" She grinned, any shyness evaporating. "And that's Alec!" She jabbed a small thumb at her brother who blushed, shifting nervously. "He's too shy to tell you that he prefers 'Alec' over 'Alexander' but it's true!"

Magnus chuckled as he watched Izzy cross her small arms, her figure defensive as if people didn't believe her that often.

"Isabelle!" Maryse scolded. "Don't be rude."

"It's quite alright Maryse." Hodge smiled at the small girl. "I'll keep that in mind." He straightened, beginning to make his way down the hall with Maryse behind, the children quickly following.

"I'll show you the rooms…"

Magnus stared after them, blinking as his mind whirled with new information.

"Well?" Came a voice next to him, making him jump. "Are you going to follow or not?"

"Jesus!" He exclaimed, whirling to face the cloaked figure that stood several inches away. "Don't _do_ that!"

The Warlock saw a frown pull the male's lips downwards into a frown. "Sorry."

He sighed. "Make some noise next time or something." Magnus made his way down the hallway towards the stairs, calling over his shoulder a teasing. "Well? Are you going to follow or not?"

**~OxoXoxO~**

"…There are rooms all down the halls, all unoccupied of course." Hodge was saying to the three. "You can pick any one that you want."

Magnus watched as Alec and Izzy nodded, Maryse taking Izzy by the hand and leading her down the hallway as Alec wandered around by himself, Hodge going down to get the bags out of their car.

He followed Alec, watching as he peered into each room before quickly ducking out. He seemed to relax more when he was alone, the shyness draining from his body and leaving it relaxed; he was humming gently under his breath, a small smile pulling his lips upwards as he moved from room to room slowly making his way to where Magnus knew he would latter live.

The Warlock took the time to study him then, making out what was different and the same between this Alec and the future one. For one thing: the stuttering. Alec only ever stuttered when he was extremely upset so Magnus guessed he outgrew it eventually, only showing up in situations with large amounts of emotion. The clothing was another, this Alec didn't seem afraid to show his body and wear color. He didn't like attention but he didn't exactly try to blend into the shadows like he does in the future.

"Oh."

Magnus blinked, eyes re-focusing on his surroundings to see Alec peering into a room that the Warlock knew he would call his own, his mouth open. He moved forward to stand in the doorway as Alec looked around the empty room, taking in the bare bed on the left and the small desk and dresser.

"Perfect." Alec murmured, almost to himself.

Magnus tilted his head, trying to see what his love saw. White walls, bare and without decoration with dark wood flooring. A window with no curtains, looking out into the bleak city. A empty closet, dresser and cleaned off desk, devoid of any belongings. It was all very bland and yet, when he looked at Alec's face he could tell that that wasn't what his love saw at all. He strained his mind trying to understand, could almost feel it stretching like a rubber band… And then it snapped. He stumbled back with a gasp, a hand flying out to steady himself on the doorway as thoughts and images not his own filled his head.

_White walls, nothing on them-Paint he could get paint he could do whatever he wanted with them. Empty desk-He could use it for his drawings and books, his Mother wouldn't be there often so he didn't have to worry about her yelling at him for stacking to many on top of each other. No curtains-He could ask to go to the store and get those grey ones, the ones that he imagined would look like fog in the morning light…_

"…Magnus."

The Warlock blinked.

_So much potential…_

"Magnus!"

He jerked, flinching away from the dark figure with widened eyes before realizing just who it was. The figure let his pale hand drop with a sigh, tilting his head to the side.

"I should have warned you," He muttered, shifting and sending his cloak from side to side. "I didn't think you would try so soon… Maybe I_ should_ just send someone else; I seem to be doing a hell of a job."

"Hey." Magnus held his hands up as the hooded head snapped up from its drooped position. "I'm fine. It was just… a surprise. What was that anyways?"

The figure sighed, raising a hand as if to run a hand through his hair only to pause when it touched the hood, letting it fall back to his side. "It was the connection. Alec will be able to do it to when you come into contact again. You tried to reach out to him and you did it hard enough that it just… Snapped into place. I never thought that it would work so easily, it usually happens around the third or fourth memory when the bond is stronger and more stable."

"So… there's something wrong?" He interrupted anxiously.

"What? No! No." The hooded head shook. "It's just surprising. You two seem to have an incredibly strong bond already which can mean things both good and bad depending on how you look at it."

"Why?" Magnus asked worriedly. "Is something bad going to happen to Alec?"

"No, no! Nothing bad is going to happen it's just…" The figure shifted again, his hands coming in front of him to wring each other nervously. "Everything is going to be so much more intense now. Your bond is already so strong and the connection will only make it stronger. Over time you'll be able to reach out to each other's minds and well… Check in I guess you could call it. It can be both a blessing and a curse when you consider privacy."

"Of course." Magnus murmured, frowning when he thought of telling Alec this. Alec hated having his privacy invaded…

"Alexander, is this the room you want?" Came Maryse's voice and Magnus stiffened when she walked right towards him, about to jump out of the way when she simply moved through him.

At his shocked expression the figure spoke. "I told you, you would be like a ghost didn't I?"

The Warlock blinked, shaking his head. "Yes, you did."

"Y-Yes." Alec answered with a smile.

"I'll have Hodge bring up your things for you then, alright?" She murmured softly, reaching out a hand to ruffle his hair.

"You… Y-You're leaving now?"

"Yes. I'm sorry but I've got to get back." She answered with a frown, reaching out to pull the boy into her arms.

Magnus watched Alec's expression sadden, arms coming up to wrap around his Mother as he held her close. "Alright."

Magnus blinked at the scene, surprised. He'd never seen Maryse so… Affectionate.

"I'll visit as soon as I can, okay?" She pulled back, brushing the hair out of his eyes as he nodded. She kissed his forehead before standing, walking to the doorway and pausing.

"Goodbye, Alexander."

"B-Bye."

Magnus watched as Alec's face fell, his happy expression from earlier nowhere to be seen as he walked to the window to watch his Mother pull away in the black car.

**~OxoXoxO~**

"So what happens now?" He asked, glancing around the darkened room before looking down at his sleeping love. He'd watched as Alec put away his things, only brightening when he'd joined his sister for diner, Isabelle chatting away about some random topic. Magnus figured that she was what kept Alec going every day.

"You wake up." The figure said simply from his place leaning against the wall. He was gazing out the window at what Magnus assumed to be the moon.

"And when I fall back asleep after?"

"I'll be here to take you through another memory. That is," He shifted, turning to glance at the Warlock. "If you still want me to be. If not I'll send someone else."

"No," Magnus shook his head. "I trust you."

The figure dipped his head. "Then I'll be here."

The world around him began to ripple, the room now full of Alec's things and Alec himself fading away until only the figure was visible.

"Wait!" Magnus called, a thought nagging him. "What's your name?"

The figure hesitated, body turned as if to walk away before answering. "Shade. You can call me Shade."

"Shade." Magnus mused as the world began to fade away. "As in 'shadow' it suits you."

The last thing he heard was the quite voice of the figu- Shade answering back. "Thank you."

He closed his eyes.

* * *

**I did say that these would get longer when the memories came up right? Well there you go. :)**

**This is only 50 minutes away from Friday so if you want to get technical I guess you can say that I broke my promise buuuuut... At least I did update right?**

**Allot of you guys said that you wanted those deleted scenes so when I put up the first chap I'll put it in a AN k?**

**And now, because I'm bored (and because I'm curious to see just how many people actually read these) whoever can tell me what song the title is from gets a Malec one-shot of their choice. (you have no idea how hard it is to find song lyrics that suit each chapter. I probably spend at least 30 minutes looking for one that will go with each chap -.-') Good luck! ;)**

so amazing: Thank you! I'm glad you like my writing! ;D And TMTMFD stands for my pen name. :)

**Reviews are like caffine, they get me through those sleepness nights like these when I'm up typing long ass chapters because I feel bad for making people wait so long.**

**;3**

**~TMTMFD**


	7. AN

Hey guys! I know I haven't updated in forever and I just felt the need to tell you guys that I definitely have _not_ forgotten or given up on this story. I've started school again so I don't have all day to laze around in bed and write anymore (much to my dissatisfaction) and as much as I would love to give you guys a chapter every week it just isn't going to happen. And to top it all off? I have _massive_ writers block for this story as well. And not the kind where I can't figure out what's going to happen next. Oh no, I have the kind where I know what's going to happen but I can't write it properly (the worst kind in my opinion). So please guys, try to be patient with me. I want to give you the best writing that I can and that's not going to happen if I try to force out the next chapter now.

Again: I am **NOT** nor will I** EVER** drop this story. I am dead set on finishing this even if it kills me. :P

In the mean time while you guys are waiting I'm going to be having several long (and when I say long I mean around 20-40 pages in Microsoft long) one-shots up soon.

The first is a Malec requested by SecretlyANinja98 and is going to be up (hopefully) sometime today. If it's not then I can _promise_ that it _will_ be up by Sunday at the latest. :)

It's called Falling For Love and is all human. Here's the summary:

_'Because sometimes you just can't help who you love, even if you'd be better off never loving that person in the first place.'_

**[Edit] **Falling For Love has been posted! ;)

The second is a RaphaelxSebastion/Jonathon fic (yes I admit, I ship them. Rather hard to be honest. -.-' ..._Does anyone else like that couple? Or am I just a freak like that?)_ and if anyone is interested here's the summary:

_'I hate you because I love you and I know you have no intentions of returning that love... Right?'_

Again it's all human. I can't say when that one will be done but if all goes well it should be within the next two weeks or so. :)

So! If you want, check those out. If not, I'll look forward to hearing from you again once I return to this fic. :)

**;3**

**~TMTMFD **


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